Lmao I got a parking ticket does anyone want to be my sugar daddy? Willing to receive money for minimal effort hmu lmao
this is one of the greatest jokes this show has ever landed
You wake in the night with your arm hanging over the side of your bed. It is still dark, and your bedroom is shrouded in deep shadow. Something unseen seizes your hand.
You grasp it tightly, knowing that first impressions are important and a firm, confident handshake will establish dominance.
A hollow voice echos under your bed, shaking you to your core, “You’re hired.”
I know who we all REALLY want to see in Disney’s live action reboots.
Did I ever tell you guys how I actually semi-officially changed the canon of this movie
Oh?
Yeah I got one of the lead writers to make something canon with help from my roommate and his dad.
give us the deets
Ok so this all started with a fan theory I read on Reddit. Basically the theory was that since the only animals in the movie that are shown to be capable of speech used to be human, then any animal that can talk was at one point a human.
On Kuzco’s first night alone in the jungle, he sees a fly in a spiderweb. The fly screams “HELP ME” then gets eaten.
The theory was that that fly used to be human.
So my roommate really liked that theory and said “hey my dad is actually friends with the guy who wrote Emperor’s New Groove, he can ask him to confirm that theory for us.” (I’m not naming names here I don’t wanna get sued)
So a couple days later we get screenshots of my roommate’s dad’s email asking about the theory and the lead writer’s response:
“The fly is… Kuzco’s late father.”
My roommate’s dad: “is that canon?”
Writer: “It is now.”
So Kuzco’s dad was turned into an animal by Yzma, we assume, as part of her ploy to take the throne. It makes SENSE.
And that’s how I helped change the canon of a major Disney movie.
hi i’m interrupting my own serious post to bring you this lesbian mermaid card I saw at five below
IM MAD THEY DIDNT LINE UP THE HEART CORRECTLY
me getting ready to go out
someone who does photoshop reverse this
Me getting home from work
Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.
Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.
So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.
So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).
Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”
He rather use the same amount of money to play golf than provide poor people with food. That’s all you need to know about America’s President.
it’s really such an important statistic that meals on wheels needs 3 million to run for an entire year and he’s spent that eight times over since he took office AND he wants to defund it??? i just????????????????
God
me: i love Gavin Free. so much. he is the love of my life. I think that he’s an amazing human being who is not only funny but also very smart and I enjoy his presence in let’s plays because of his commentary. I think he’s one of the nicest Youtubers out there and I enjoy his social comments he makes in support of his friends, family, and fans.
Also me, watching Gavin in last place in a GTA race: get fucked Gavin
foodffs
